While Kim has denied any after-hours activities, we have received, from reliable sources, a number of texts to and from AK that may counter that denial.  Read for yourself and decide.
 
AK: Man I never thought that team meeting would end, you wanna grab a brew, or 10 haha?
Freddy: You DO know I’m still your Captain after hours right?
AK: Whoops…meant that for Jordan. Night Cap! Get it, night….cap? 
 
AK: Hehe, just texted Freddy about getting a beer…oh well, ready to head out man?
Jordan: Can’t. I promised Phil that I would work on his short game with him. He tried to act like he didn’t want me to, but I know he just didn’t want to seem like he was imposing after what I did for O’Hair.  Don’t forget you are playing tomorrow!!!
AK: Man you guys are all lame!  I’m out to get some strange and lots of jager bombs woohoo look out San Fraaan! 
 
AK: Yeah bitches the AK-47 is out on the town!  Two jager bombs down baby and already four hotties checkin me out. One chick grabbed my belt buckle. She’s cute, big adam’s apple but hot. I’m soooo in. She has a friend, you up for wingman duty?
Phil: Stop texting me…I told you I can’t go out, Amy “surprised” me by showing up here.  Ixnay ethay artypay alktay, mmm’kay?
AK: Haha ur loss loooser!  Jager bombs away!
Phil: Don’t forget you are playing tomorrow!
 
AK: Peeps keep buyin jager bomzzz. Feelin no pain now cap! Who am i playin tomrrow again? Can i geta l8r tee time?
Freddy: No you cannot have a later tee time jesus man…get it together!
AK: Whooopsie daizy! Meant for MJ. J/k Cap…in my room havin night cap hahahaahha booombz away!
 
AK: So this is what the women’s bathroom looks like…
MJ: Nice pic. Maybe you should come back. Phil and I are about to breakthrough on his flop shot. Amy is helping too!
 
AK: I needz a cheezburger and pizzaaaaaaaaaa!!! Yeah baby ‘za! C’mon cap U buyin?
Norman: Who the hell is this?
AK: Hahhaaha we’re kickin ur aszzessss.  Can i have Morgan’s number?
 
AK: Remindme 2 make wakeup callz? Wooo booombz away!! Applebeeez is so dead 2morrow boss…adam’s apple chick givin me ride home w00t! FTW!
Freddy:
 
End Transmission.

But after watching the matches and enjoying a U.S. victory (wOOt! suck it rest of the world!) we felt inspired to recognize some of the more outstanding and/or shameful moments of the 2009 Presidents Cup.

MVP award: For Most-Valuable-Partner of course goes to Steve Stricker. It’s been rumored that Tiger is getting an I heart Stevie tattoo someplace discreet. Just don’t tell Stevie Williams it’s in honor of T-dubs new favorite match play partner Stricker.  If it weren’t for Stricker’s lights out putting on Saturday Woods would not have nabbed that nifty 5-0-0 record this year.

Don’t believe the hype award: Goes to Carl Steward whose article for the Mercury News declared: “Scott proves critics wrong, Norman right”.  Um, hold up there Hoss. Aside from Camilo Villegas’ spectacular 0-fer performance, Scott had the worst Presidents Cup record of 1-4-0.  Or another way to look at it is that he was first runner-up to Camilo for worst record on the international team. Ouch.

Most useless accessory: Michael Jordan. Which putting advice do you think served Sean O’Hair better this week: Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson’s or Michael Jordan’s? As the SNL skit goes – REALLY?  Michael Jordan as a celebrity attendee? Fantastic. Bring it on. Interview him, give regular camera time and so on. In fact, we’d love to see The Presidents Cup become something like a four day long Lakers game. But as an Assistant Captain, c’mon Freddy.  C’mon man.

Wee-men Award: Mike Weir & Tim Clark. If the NBC announcers are to be believed, apparently Weir and Clark measure approximately 4’10″ combined. There were more short jokes during Weir/Clark matches than there are regrettable Verne Troyer reality TV incidents.

Best Captain: Also known as Captain Cool- Fred Couples is the epitomy of laid back coolness. He apparently didn’t even bother to tell Woods that his point against Yang sealed up the U.S. victory.  Details, don’t sweat ‘em people.

Worst Captain: Tough call. No wait, I mean easiest call ever! While Norman gets points for the Ryo Ishikawa pick, he also built upon his reputation for monumental screw ups by picking Adam Scott who rewarded his confidence with a whopping (net) negative three points for the internationals.

However, Norman did show no hard feelings by posing for a post-match photo with Scott, seen in the arms of Norman’s daughter Morgan.  If nothing else, Scott beats Jordan for cutest mascot. Thank you Dena Davis for the tweet with this Kodak moment.

“The man” award: Who else but T. Woods. The putt on 17 on Saturday.  The twirl/walk & point on 18. The close out of the Prez Cup by putting a beat down on Y.E. Yang. Yes he is and forever shall be The Man.

See you in 2011!

Is it social chairman?

Is it as official Cohiba consultant to the players?

Is it to be the mascot like Wei Under Par suggests?

No, no and no (ok, actually all three may be pretty accurate). 

Instead we believe his Airness is there to help the U.S. team avoid past embarrassment that comes with the golf victory leap.

Is there anything more uncomfortable to watch than slightly pudgy white guys catching air after closing out a match?  It’s an abomination.

Please Michael, please…do not allow this to happen again (jump to 18 secs for the horror):

The U.S. team already had the perfect consultant for this role – Tiger Woods of course.  Have you ever seen him jump for joy? No.  Because he is the effing man.

The fist pumps are legendary. The club twirl is rapidly gaining in popularity, especially now with the difficult to execute club twirl/walk/point combo. 

But to see how a rock star celebrates a big putt, just look back at Woods example set at 17 on Saturday (at about 55 seconds):

Sorry Mr. Jordan. Your services are no longer required.

While the couple were mum on specific reasons, NiceBallz has learned from sources that Evert was the primary driver of the split, and the proverbial last straw was Norman’s selection of Adam Scott for The Presidents Cup.

Those close to Everett say she was (like many golf fans) mystified by Scott being a Captain’s pick and that, “…she really began to question the foundation of the relationship after that pick was made.”

An Everett confidant shared, “She said ‘how can I trust him with anything simple like going to the market and getting the right brand of bread when he f*ck’s something like a Captain’s pick up?’…she was beside herself.”

It was believed Evert didn’t let her dismay and ultimate disdain for Norman’s judgment simmer under the surface very long. The source said, “For a few days afterwards she would walk around the house saying ‘What, Ian Baker-Finch wasn’t available? Christ, nothing like being the wife of the Blunder from Down Under’, it was brutal.”

Sergio Garcia, a victim of another Norman’s decision to cut ties with the swashbuckling Spaniard did not offer a comment.

But that’s only because you don’t have the insider info that we delve into the deep dark crevices of the golfing underworld to find here at NiceBallz.com. 

So here it is, the never before seen list of reasons Greg Norman drew up while making his decision to pick Adam Scott.  How’d we get it?  Let’s just say we had to go undercover as part of the housekeeping staff at Norman’s hotel. Hard hitting journalism isn’t always pretty folks.

Some of these make a ton of sense, really.