Upon emerging from my Ryder Cup hangover what is the first email I received in the NiceBallz mailbox?  Something from Oakley going on about how Ian Poulter really delivered  in The Ryder Cup, and would I be interested in posting a video of Ian showing off and rubbing our collective faces in how awesome his life is?

Sure Oakley…why not.  How about you just douse this paper cut I have with some salt and lemon juice too mmm’kay?  Go ahead, perhaps I could dog-sit for Ian some time?  Or wash his car (which at 1:19 in the video you’ll see he parks very liberally)…or generally just be his biaaaaatch like the Americans were this past week?

Not cool Oakley.  Not cool to rub it in. 

But, I did bash on Poulter (even if not publicly like some) and he did deliver. So fine, here’s your video.  See you in 2012 bastards.

Bonus – Weezer with the best Oakley related line ever: “Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool…”

Say what you will about the ad, personally I think it’s pretty low to try and repair your image by unearthing (nyuk nyuk) your deceased father’s voice.

That said, Wieden + Kennedy have never been shy to poke at controversy.  In fact they often welcome it, and in many ways it’s a brilliant move.  To some the ad is thought provoking. To others enraging. To virtually all – it stirs a reaction.  The worst thing the first Nike ad with Tiger (post scandal) could have done was to look or feel watered down and ‘safe’. 

And for those who may respect the concept but despise the Machiavellian mindset that made it a reality – take heart!  There are parodies.  The few we’ve found so far are below, but we’ll update this post with more as they appear – and yes…they WILL appear. 

Jimmy Kimmel Live – starts at about 1:45 of the clip and is pretty awesome, and so far the best of the bunch

Remember thisfrom Ferris Bueller?  Ooooh yeeeeeaaaahhh….

Christian Bale will NOT be ignored in the remix (language NSFW)

And this Tarantino-esque version may be the most apt considering Tiger’s day 1 Masters performance

Got a favorite that we haven’t shared?  Or just thoughts on which you like best?  Let us know.  Or just watch The Masters.  It’s what we’re doing.

Update #1 – Colbert kills it (h/t Busbee)

Kirk lands on a planet, something happens, he ends up in the bizarro world where he meets ‘Evil Spock’.  Hilarity ensues.

How do you know Spock is evil?  Umm helllooooo – the goatee.  Must I point out the obvious every time?

I’m reminded of this why?  Tiger Woods has busted out the evil goatee.

This can mean only one of two things:

- The real Tiger Woods — the Ambien taking, porn star shagging Tiger has been kidnapped by agents of Nike and has been replaced by a cyborg.  They would have gone with a non-facial hair version of Cyger Woods, but those are delayed in shipment from China.

- It’s still the real Tiger Woods but he’s sporting the goatee in a subtle FU to the media and everyone else. As if to say, “I’m warm and snuggly on the outside, but this goatee…yeah you know what it’s saying b*tch.”

Which is it?  Hard to say, especially since Woods pretty much was a cyborg before his scandal erupted anyway. 

But if there’s any doubt that this Tiger is evil, then the latest Nike ad that summoned Obi Wan  Earl Woods from the grave should leave no doubt. 

Tiger, who said he has never used his wife or children for marketing purposes, apparently has no issue with digging up the old man to help do some image repair.  That’s class folks.

Here’s some more evil (below) for your viewing pleasure during commercial breaks of The Masters.

Update: Apparently Cyger Woods has gone goatee-less.  Clearly an attempt to distract from his evil-doing prowess.  Or, possibly the real Tiger managed to chew through his bindings, deftly dispatched the guards, phoned Stevie who maneuvered a rescue chopper to the roof of Phil Knights evil mansion/lair/hideout where Tiger was being held and returned to Augusta just in time to pull a Linda Hamilton a la Terminator 1 finishing move on Cyber Woods…and then he casually changed clothes and sauntered to the 1st tee, summarily ripping his drive down the fairway.  At least…that’s how I’m imagining it went down. 

Not because it’s good. Oh no, usually it’s dreadful, unless you have erectile dysfunction issues – then you are likely well informed of a wealth of options available to you.

But sometimes we find something that is interesting for all the right, or even wrong reasons. 

This may not be new to you but it was called out to us by a reader and we thought we’d share the ‘Amazing’ video from Callaway golf.

So what do you think?  Does it belong in the golf marketing Hall of Fame or Hall of Shame?

There are arguments to be made for both:

Pros – The ‘I’m not even sure I got it all!’ line is chuckle-worthy and it’s refreshing to see a golf related ad that features a couple in bed instead of bathtubs.

Cons – Where’s the love for the ladies?  In a perfect world there would be a version of the video featuring a female golfer. Natalie Gulbis gets our casting nod please.  Also, a tad stereotypical ‘bigger, longer’ etc. Why stop at the (not so) subtle comparisons between driving length and, um other things and just make the driver into a giant phallus?

Let us know what you think in comments on if it’s Fame or Shame worthy.

But news that came out yesterday about the FTC putting forth strict guidelines for bloggers to follow around who is paying them what (if anything, ever) to endorse products and services, should put some in the blogging (and tweeting world) on notice.

An FTC spokesperson said to the WSJ: “Our strategy is going to be more education than it is enforcement,” said Richard Cleland, an assistant director in the FTC’s consumer protection division who specializes in advertising practices.

Whew!  So no jack booted thugs are likely to come and haul your pasty white blogging rump (dramatic reenactment in above photo) off to a white collar prison, or to drop the maximum fine of up to $11k on you for a first offense.

But still, it’s an interesting shift and one that we welcome. If someone is paying a blogger/tweeter/facebooker/etc to endorse their product then that should absolutely be made clear.  Does that mean that bloggers endorsement completely goes without merit?  

Not necessarily, but it will suffer a pretty significant blow in terms of impact.  But how is that any different (besides the MUCH MUCH smaller scale) than a top pro athlete or celeb endorsing one brand of deodorant over another? 

It’s not, as long as both are equally transparent about it.   

So let us take this opportunity to clearly put forth our own practices for your awareness.

Reviewing Products:When we receive product from companies, it often is provided gratis (that’s fancy lawyer talk for free).  If we then choose to review those products, we do not in any way allow the fact that the product was provided free of charge for review to factor into our final recommendation.  In fact, if you are a company who sends us something, and want it back after we review it…feel free to send along a pre-addressed postage paid envelope/packing material and we will ship the product back to you. Not sure how huge the market is for broken tees, used golf shoes and scuffed balls, but hey…we’re ok with it if you are.  As a side note, this is pretty much the same practice that most mainstream media have used for decades when reviewing products. 

Stuff we pay for: We actually buy many of the products that we review.  For example many of our ball reviews are just stuff we’ve purchased, liked (or not) and written about.

Paid endorsements: If you are a company and wish to pay us to endorse your product/service, then feel free to let the rainmaking begin!  We accept cash (preferably in big manila envelopes to stoke our ego) and checks.  We’ll say anything about your company/product/service that you write up if the price is right because well, we’re whores.  Of course, we’ll disclose we’re whores and as such our endorsement of your product/service/other should be worth, well basically whatever we scrape out of our pockets on a Saturday morning.

People will be tempted to make this into a much bigger and more complex deal than it is.  Don’t.  It’s simple – if you’re getting paid to endorse something, then you should make it clear. 

In the meantime, we’ll sit back and wait for the revenue windfall that we’re sure is coming now that we’ve let it known our highly valued endorsement is for sale.