But after watching the matches and enjoying a U.S. victory (wOOt! suck it rest of the world!) we felt inspired to recognize some of the more outstanding and/or shameful moments of the 2009 Presidents Cup.

MVP award: For Most-Valuable-Partner of course goes to Steve Stricker. It’s been rumored that Tiger is getting an I heart Stevie tattoo someplace discreet. Just don’t tell Stevie Williams it’s in honor of T-dubs new favorite match play partner Stricker.  If it weren’t for Stricker’s lights out putting on Saturday Woods would not have nabbed that nifty 5-0-0 record this year.

Don’t believe the hype award: Goes to Carl Steward whose article for the Mercury News declared: “Scott proves critics wrong, Norman right”.  Um, hold up there Hoss. Aside from Camilo Villegas’ spectacular 0-fer performance, Scott had the worst Presidents Cup record of 1-4-0.  Or another way to look at it is that he was first runner-up to Camilo for worst record on the international team. Ouch.

Most useless accessory: Michael Jordan. Which putting advice do you think served Sean O’Hair better this week: Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson’s or Michael Jordan’s? As the SNL skit goes – REALLY?  Michael Jordan as a celebrity attendee? Fantastic. Bring it on. Interview him, give regular camera time and so on. In fact, we’d love to see The Presidents Cup become something like a four day long Lakers game. But as an Assistant Captain, c’mon Freddy.  C’mon man.

Wee-men Award: Mike Weir & Tim Clark. If the NBC announcers are to be believed, apparently Weir and Clark measure approximately 4’10″ combined. There were more short jokes during Weir/Clark matches than there are regrettable Verne Troyer reality TV incidents.

Best Captain: Also known as Captain Cool- Fred Couples is the epitomy of laid back coolness. He apparently didn’t even bother to tell Woods that his point against Yang sealed up the U.S. victory.  Details, don’t sweat ‘em people.

Worst Captain: Tough call. No wait, I mean easiest call ever! While Norman gets points for the Ryo Ishikawa pick, he also built upon his reputation for monumental screw ups by picking Adam Scott who rewarded his confidence with a whopping (net) negative three points for the internationals.

However, Norman did show no hard feelings by posing for a post-match photo with Scott, seen in the arms of Norman’s daughter Morgan.  If nothing else, Scott beats Jordan for cutest mascot. Thank you Dena Davis for the tweet with this Kodak moment.

“The man” award: Who else but T. Woods. The putt on 17 on Saturday.  The twirl/walk & point on 18. The close out of the Prez Cup by putting a beat down on Y.E. Yang. Yes he is and forever shall be The Man.

See you in 2011!

While the couple were mum on specific reasons, NiceBallz has learned from sources that Evert was the primary driver of the split, and the proverbial last straw was Norman’s selection of Adam Scott for The Presidents Cup.

Those close to Everett say she was (like many golf fans) mystified by Scott being a Captain’s pick and that, “…she really began to question the foundation of the relationship after that pick was made.”

An Everett confidant shared, “She said ‘how can I trust him with anything simple like going to the market and getting the right brand of bread when he f*ck’s something like a Captain’s pick up?’…she was beside herself.”

It was believed Evert didn’t let her dismay and ultimate disdain for Norman’s judgment simmer under the surface very long. The source said, “For a few days afterwards she would walk around the house saying ‘What, Ian Baker-Finch wasn’t available? Christ, nothing like being the wife of the Blunder from Down Under’, it was brutal.”

Sergio Garcia, a victim of another Norman’s decision to cut ties with the swashbuckling Spaniard did not offer a comment.

But that’s only because you don’t have the insider info that we delve into the deep dark crevices of the golfing underworld to find here at NiceBallz.com. 

So here it is, the never before seen list of reasons Greg Norman drew up while making his decision to pick Adam Scott.  How’d we get it?  Let’s just say we had to go undercover as part of the housekeeping staff at Norman’s hotel. Hard hitting journalism isn’t always pretty folks.

Some of these make a ton of sense, really.

It’s over. Your swing has gone further south than your girlfriends’ tan lines.

Don’t get me wrong, that would make my putter stand up straight. But yours seems to be all wobbly and, um, cock-eyed.

Maybe it’s the girlfriend – who could blame you? Maybe it’s that you’re just young, rich and easily distracted. You wouldn’t be the first to fall victim to those siren songs.

But I can’t have you dragging me down, bro. No, no, no. So you’ve got to go.

I know you said we were taking a ‘break.’  Fair enough.  How about you work on a few other breaks – like breaking 80, ok hoss?

Well, I’m off. If you’re in the neighborhood don’t stop by.

I’ve already alerted security to keep you off the practice facility and they aren’t afraid to get a little rough. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to that pretty face now right? It may be the only meal ticket you have left. 

And don’t get any ideas of going after Gulbis either. I don’t want you messin with her mojo, or any other parts.  Besides, trust me, you’re not her type.

Best o’luck,
Butchie

Scott is in a serious slump. He slipped last week to No. 46 in the world rankings and missed the cut at the PGA Championship with a 17-over-par score (several club professionals beat him). Now he and his swing coach Butch Harmon have recently decided to take a break.

Scott is an incredible talent, he’s been compared with fellow Australian golf star Greg Norman and he has (or had) one of the most textbook swings on Tour. He’s a former Players Championship winner, too. Heady stuff. At 29 years old and with his skill, surely he will rebound and return to form in the future.

However, for now Adam Scott is a case study in what is wrong with some of the younger players on the PGA Tour.

For one, he has seemed to overly emulate the circa 2000 swing of Tiger Woods, who was coached by Harmon at the time. Scott’s swing is sound, but the object of the game is not to make a perfect swing, rather to get the ball in the hole. More than 180 players on Tour putt better than Scott, statistically speaking. Ouch. In that regard, he’s like his buddy Sergio Garcia. Both possess silky swings that don’t always translate into good scores. Style over substance?

Meanwhile, Scott reminds us of Davis Love III, another talented player of an earlier generation who has been criticized for not getting as much out of his talent as possible. Like Love, Scott has been often injured, having broken his hand last year. But, Scott — again like Love who enjoys skiing, horses and motorcycles – has seemed as interested in surfing and supposedly dating foxy women as in practicing and improving his golf. Nothing wrong with having outside interests, but the big money in the game of golf today has allowed players to be mediocre and still make an incredible living.

Scott is 28th on the all-time PGA Tour career money list, having made more than $19 million in prize money already. Why try any harder when you’re set for life financially, you’re on the cover of magazines and otherwise living the high life?

And, today’s focus on marketing and image has some pro golfers as interested in photo shoots and fashion as practice and flop shots. Again, some of the younger players seem to care more about how they look than how they perform.

We hope Scott gets things straightened out with his game. Another rival for the game’s best and a marketable (careful) star for the future would be great for the PGA Tour. But we’re concerned that Scott, like many of his peers and underperformers from an earlier era, will simply be content to post some Top 25 finishes, cash some endorsement checks and spend some time at their various vacation homes. Lots of corporate executives do essentially the same thing, but settling for mediocrity sucks in any profession.

One thing’s for sure about Adam Scott, he’ll look better than most doing it. If you’re into that sort of thing.

Let’s just be friends. It’s not you; it’s me. Well, actually, it is mostly you.

You wear your clothes tighter than mine. I can’t have that.

You waggle your golf club too much. My Dad says if you shake it more than twice you’re playing with it.

You refuse to eat Vegemite for breakfast. You know I hate Nutella.

Your Michelob sponsorship pisses me off. It’s cheap American swill. BTW, I don’t care who bought it, it’s still not Belgian. Even San Miguel and Mahou, that cheap Spanish crap you drink at home, are better beers. And, when will you learn Foster’s is ‘Australian for Beer’? Geez!

I hate the bullfights. I never want to go again. It’s just so mean. And I am OVER playing the ‘feisty bull’ to your matador at home. Red is not your color, anyway. It’s Tiger’s. Everyone knows that.

When they say you’re the best player to never win a major, it’s not a compliment, OK?

How come your other girlfriends had cool nicknames? Swiss Miss. Why not me?! Awesome Aussie. I mean, give a girl something.

If our breakup affects your swing it’s not my fault. You’re always full of excuses. You got a bad tee time. The weather wasn’t fair. The lights aren’t low enough, baby. The music’s not right. Whatever.

Our apartment is not big enough for the three of us – you, me and your ego. Don’t call me anymore. And I’m not into that ‘sexting’ stuff either.

Have a nice life,
MeanMorgan

P.S. – Adam Scott has as many wins as you and is WAY hotter. And, he’s an Aussie. Oy! Do you have his number?