Golf Channel Programming Changes Announced
Breaking:The Golf Channel releases early mid-season replacement options
Hank works on Carl Spackler’s swing, while also trying to help him find what once made the iconic comedian more amusing than dangerous on the golf course. Guest appearances by Chevy Chase, Dan Akryod and the ghost of Gilda Radner, who not surprisingly is still funnier than Murray.
The Golf Fix: Heroin and meth junkies are given golf clubs and told low score wins a their ‘fix’ for the day. Hilarity and head trauma ensues as contestants use clubs as weapons. Guest appearances by Dog the Bounty Hunter and the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.
The Grey Goose 19th Hole: Same title, different format. Vince Cellini and a bottle of vodka. Vince drinks until the bottle is gone while sharing his dismay over why (he) the most talented guy on the Channel can’t get a better gig. Guest appearances by Dr. Drew and family members seeking an intervention. Money quote: “Seriously? Scott Van f*cking Pelt is on ESPN…seriously?!?”
Idiot Bloggers: The Golf Channel embraces social media and online content by inviting a handful of golf bloggers on each week to discuss the game’s most pressing issues. Recurring appearances by NiceBallz and GolferWriterGuy as well as Wolfrum, Stephanie Wei, Ryan Ballangee and GolfGirl among others. Wisely, the Golf Channel elects to have all male bloggers as call-in only guests due to their hideous physical appearance.
Editors note: Idiot bloggers has bee cancelled in pre-production.
Got a better idea for a new golf show on the Golf Channel? Share your spoof with us at http://blog.niceballz.com or on twitter at http://twitter.com/NiceBallz. Seriously…can a bunch of idiot bloggers do much worse?
The Haney Project – Bill Murray:
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Well, for one, “Big Break: San Fernando Valley” that would feature 12 washed-up porn starlets with no golfing talent whatsoever, but highly skilled in cooing at the camera, and cat-fighting through the confession room. On the course, golfing skills will not be highlighted so much as slow-motion views of the “players” bending over to pick the ball up out of the hole and to tee it up.
Note: this show will be a co-production with HBO’s Katy Morgan.
Surprise guests will be the soon-to-be-divorced male bloggers.
Second Show:
The Glenlivet Hour: w/ Renton Laidlaw and Stuart Rankin, formerly of SNL’s ‘All Things Scottish.”
In the show, Renton and Stuart will share the 18 shots of Scotch in a bottle, and after each share their views of various golf tours, from a uniquely Scottish point of view.
Essentially, Laidlaw will show highlights of the latest Malaysian or Abu Dhabi Open, espouse the European Tour’s superiority while Stuart Rankin will proclaim at each turn that “if it’s not Scottish, It’s CRAP! And I mean YOU, Tiger Woods!”
Note: Sky Television has picked this up.
Copyright this or something…it has legs (literally and figuratively).
Hilarious post, guys. Hat tip!
I like the idiot bloggers idea. Great suggestion. You think someone from TGC is reading? I hope so.
I’ll write up the proposal.
Aside: CBS should consider getting Nick Faldo a new co-host. I’m not the biggest fan of Faldo, but at the same time, I find him entertaining – mostly because I enjoy making fun of him. Is that wrong? To his credit, it’s tough making golf sound exciting every second. He does much better job compared to his contemporaries <>. And I’ve heard he is a delight in real life.
Fuckin’ hilarious. I like the Golf Fix, that would be a great train wreck to watch…