Dear Adam…
Dear Adam,
It’s over. Your swing has gone further south than your girlfriends’ tan lines.
Don’t get me wrong, that would make my putter stand up straight. But yours seems to be all wobbly and, um, cock-eyed.
Maybe it’s the girlfriend – who could blame you? Maybe it’s that you’re just young, rich and easily distracted. You wouldn’t be the first to fall victim to those siren songs.
But I can’t have you dragging me down, bro. No, no, no. So you’ve got to go.
I know you said we were taking a ‘break.’ Fair enough. How about you work on a few other breaks – like breaking 80, ok hoss?
Well, I’m off. If you’re in the neighborhood don’t stop by.
I’ve already alerted security to keep you off the practice facility and they aren’t afraid to get a little rough. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to that pretty face now right? It may be the only meal ticket you have left.
And don’t get any ideas of going after Gulbis either. I don’t want you messin with her mojo, or any other parts. Besides, trust me, you’re not her type.
Best o’luck,
Butchie
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Can’t wait for him to be charged with a DUI…
Dear Adam,
I think Butchie is a bit worked up. We all go through rough spells.
However, I do think you could refocus your efforts.
Please accept my invitation to Real Women Golf’s Exclusive One-on-One Putting Camp. It is a four week program, but may be extended if necessary. Whatever you do, don’t buy a belly putter. Burberry and belly just don’t mix.
Our head putting pro just won a low-putt contest at a local tourney so I think you will be impressed with her credentials.
Help is just half way around the world in Ohio. We will have a room ready.
Sincerely,
Heather C. Jones
Real Women Golf Enterprises
PS I can pick you up from the airport too.
Yeah, but who is having more fun? Howell3 or Adam1… Or, better yet, name any pro on tour having more fun than Adam…
Howell is having more fun…Ginger & Mary Anne on the same Island? Good NIGHT now!
Oh wait…you didn’t mean Thurston Howell?
Scott’s having fun. Good on him. It’s all off the course though.
Butchie:
I think you tagging this “funny” is a bit presumptuous. An 82 at the PGA with a four putt is just not very funny for a pro. Followed by a 79 and you’ve got a horror story. Your ego obviously destroyed Adam’s putting game.
[...] • An open letter to Adam Scott. Gist: It’s over between us, baby. Just walk away. [Nice Ballz] [...]
I want Real Women Golf Ent. to hire kokogirl. Stat.