A Founding Father Foursome – Our July 4th NiceBallz Tribute
This weekend we Americans will stuff our fat faces with hotdogs, hamburgers and other processed meats, swill alcoholic beverages and top it off by handling highly flammable and explosive materials for the amusement of children and to the terror of canines.
Ahhh the 4th of July. The celebration of when we gave (our now good friends) the Brits the high middle finger and proceeded to whoop some limey arse eek out victory in a long war of attrition.
The holiday always makes us a bit nostalgic, and we wondered back to when our Founding Fathers put their collective butts on the line as they signed the Declaration of Independence – could have fathomed the role golf would play on this day? Could they have imagined how many of our collective gun-toting, cholesterol-consuming, flag-waving selves would beat a fast path to the wide open spaces of our local golf courses to celebrate our inherent freedom to simply play? Would they have foreseen Tiger giving away free tickets to military personnel at the AT&T National? That is what our revolutionary forefathers fought for – free golf baby.
Ok, maybe they didn’t specifically think about golf but after some painstaking research, we have uncovered some little known facts about a fabulous foursome of founding fathers that lead us to believe they were all indeed revolutionaries in statesmanship and golf.

George Washington: Generally regarded as a ‘big man’ in his time, it is believed he stood between 6’1”-6’3” and had a lean frame. This lead to his highly regarded length off the tee. Washington, often known as a subdued but determined leader was uncharacteristically regarded as chatty on the course. He would often let out a war cry of “BOOM!” when a tee shot rocketed down the fairway. A man of great vision, he could see the big picture on the battlefield, but struggled on the greens which ultimately lead to his quitting the game in pursuit of a career in the military.

Benjamin Franklin: He did not pursue the game until later in life, when French women and kite flying in lightening storms began to lose their allure. Franklin was your stereotypical duffer – short and straight off the tee and deadly as a snake on the greens. He also was a prodigious gambler on the course who tweaked his famous ‘A penny saved is a penny earned,’ to the well known phrase, albeit not as frequently attributed to him, of ‘Drive for show, putt for dough bitches’.

John Adams: A fiery competitor and politician Adams was known for being at times obstinate and yet passionate about his pursuits. Golf was no exception, he was a known club thrower and had to regularly pay for a backup set of hickories as he routinely snapped them during more unpleasant rounds. Adams rarely broke 100 and never broke 90 but he did manage to mentor his son, John Quincy Adams, into a future president and single digit handicapper.

Thomas Jefferson: An eloquent writer Jefferson is credited with drafting much of the Declaration of Independence. He was also generally regarded as an ‘artist’ on the course. He carved the ball like no other and could surpass his co-Founding Father’s regularly in stroke or match play. However it was his proficiency as a writer that lead to his demise in golf. Encouraged by his peers to draft ‘guidelines’ regarding course setup and rules/regulations for the game that were ‘strict and fair’. What Jefferson put in place some believe served as inspiration to the modern day USGA. Unfortunately, given his skills as a player this resulted in the courses the Founding Father’s played being lengthened to ridiculous amounts, equipment changes being forced (The implications of the ‘brass head changes’ move put forth by Jefferson reverberate still today) and ultimately each of them dropping the sport to pursue other interests. Jefferson never regretted his moves stating simply – “I was never trying to embarrass my fellow statesmen, merely identify which of them were the best on the golf course.”
Whatever you choose to do, heck even if you’re not American (it’s on a Saturday anyway), enjoy this 4th of July. And if you’re lucky enough to spend it on a golf course, just be sure to ask yourself WWBD (what would Benjamin do) when you’re lining up that tricky downhill 5 footer for birdie.
Benedict Arnold was well known for grounding his club in a bunker and improving his lie. That’s really why we think so little of him.