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Mike Whan, the man who elicited a slew of  ‘No seriously, who?’ reactions when it was leaked he would be the man, for the women of the LPGA.

For all we know this could be the savior the LPGA needs.  It’s silly to be overly optimistic or pessimistic about his chances at this point.  But it’s never too early to poke fun.

To that end…we humbly submit:

The Top 5 people/things that have a higher profile than new LPGA Commissioner Mike Whan:

#5 - The Chupacabra

Claim to fame: Sucking goats dry of their blood.  Having spooky glowy eyes.

Higher profile than Whan because: Had it’s own special on MonsterQuest.

Years until Whan eclipses its stature: 5, although if Whan can capture a Chupacabra we would knock it down to 2.

#4 – Jimmy Hoffa’s resting place

Claim to fame: Being the quintessential example of what happens when you f*ck with da family!

Higher profile than Whan because: It’s a piece of prime real estate in the Florida wetlands or, where the Jets lease space from the Giants (see above photo).

Years until Whan eclipses its stature: 10, and then only if Whan never returns from a roadside diner meeting with Carolyn Bivens.

# 3 – The non-Justin Timberlake members of N’Sync

Claim to fame: Launching Justin Timberlake’s singing career and future as a golf course savior.

Higher profile than Whan because: Joey Fatone on Broadway and Lance Bass coming out? Case closed.

Years until Whan eclipses their stature: 15, unless Whan releases a solo debut album that brings sexy back to the LPGA.  Then, 3 years tops.

#2 – The Unknown Comic

Claim to fame: A Gong Show staple.

Higher profile than Whan because: Um hellooooo the freakin’ Gong Show?

Years until Whan eclipses their stature: 20, unless Whan knows how to tell a joke that doesn’t suck.

#1 – The Colonel’s Secret Recipe of 11 herbs and spices

Claim to fame: Making fowl taste so…so fine. 

Higher profile than Whan because: It’s finger lickin’ good!

Years until Whan eclipses its stature: Never…it’s impossible.  And if you don’t believe me…just watch the below clip for confirmation.

Good luck Commissioner Whan!