A-hole in one (or two)
Dear Rich Schultz,
FU.
No…really. Thanks to the Deadspin story about you, I now can revel not only in the (ongoing) knowledge that I have yet to record an ace, but that an unbelievably greedy bastard such as yourself has two. Oh…and two in ONE FREAKING ROUND no less.
Oh yes, sit there (yellow shirt, khaki shorts, white hat, sh*t-eating grin) with that smug look. You definitely appear to be a man who just nutted two aces in one round. Have you no shame? No decency sir?
The closest I ever came to scoring an ace was at Bandon Dunes about 5 years ago. I’d JUST eagled a par 5 at Pacific Dunes – (only my 3rd ever) and we were on a par 3 that immediately followed. We were using caddies as we’d never played the course, and my guy was awesome. Sort of a seasoned Scottish mage meets NY hobo. It worked for him.
“Take it right over that mound”, he said…and inexplicably I was able to actually hit it roughly where he had pointed.
Another caddy in our group yelled “Say my name bitch!”as it flew to the green and landed softly…rolling rolling rolling…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand stops 6″ from the cup.
GAH!
I’ve never come that close since.
So here’s to you Rich Schultz and your two stinking holes-in-one. Prick.
UPDATE – 24, August
OH…MY…GOD. Look at this f*cking guy! There will be no living with him now people.
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I’ve come close several times, but have never had one myself. Hit the flagstick twice, ball ended up a few inches away both times. One of those couldn’t have gone in, could it? Nope. I must have done something to piss off the golf gods at some point. I’ve witnessed two — a good friend’s and my father-in-law’s, both their first aces. They suck.
Had a guy in our 4-some leave it 6″ short on Sunday…(that’s what she said).
Two in a round is crazy. I have five including two on the same hole as well as starting my round with one another time.
You should blow up Corey’s head to like 3x the size – that’s what my photo will look like when/if I ever get one.
His head is already too big now
.
We all hate you Colin.
(kidding of course)
I’m almost positive that when it happens for me, it’s going to rifle off a rake, hit a rock on the rough and hit the flagstick and drop.
But me neither. Never ever.
I’ve come close several times, but have never had one myself. Hit the flagstick twice, ball ended up a few inches away both times. One of those couldn’t have gone in, could it? Nope. I must have done something to piss off the golf gods at some point. I’ve witnessed two — a good friend’s and my father-in-law’s, both their first aces. They suck.