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How to compete and gamble on golf when someone (loser!) lacks a handicap
  
Many weekend golfers enjoy competing with friends and gambling on the game. Maintaining an official handicap index allows players of different abilities to compete equally, opening up many fun golf games and <shhh> betting opportunities.
 
But some golfers, avid as they are, have no intention of ever establishing a proper handicap index.
 
Come on, people. Get with the program! Nobody wants the outcome of the Saturday golf game to come down to your negotiating skills on the first tee. It’s a game, a recreational hobby, not a contract dispute.
 
“I’ll give you 18 strokes.”
“What?! I was a 20 last week.”
“No way. I saw you at the range on Thursday.”
 
The handicap shunners among us maybe don’t have the money, or do but don’t want to pony up.
 
More understandable is the intimidation factor. Establishing a handicap often means joining a golf club. No, not a ritzy private country club, but a social group or “men’s club” at the local public golf course. So-called affiliate clubs can also be formed by other groups, like a company or alumni association. Regardless, these can often be run by cliquey jerks who guard the old boys’ club like the golf mafia. And, they want you to have saved your 20 most recent scorecards. Whatever.
 
Trickiest of all, some golfers view having a handicap as too serious for them, some kind of scarlet letter that brands them as a bourgeois blowhard of the elite establishment. Or, a wannabe tournament player. It’s OK to play golf at the local muni, but they want nothing to do with anything “official.”
 
Well, what do you do when someone in your group doesn’t have a handicap?
 
At NiceBallz, we face this situation frequently – almost every week. Here are a few tips to keep the cheapskates and outlaws in your group from spoiling the fun:
 
Shame – Never underestimate the power of embarrassment. If you have a regular playing partner who won’t get a proper handicap, heckle them with how easy and inexpensive it is to get one. Make them feel like an unregistered purebred without their American Kennel Club (AKC) paperwork. Inform them that The Golf Handicap and Information Network (GHIN) and the International Golf Network (IGN) offer low-cost handicaps through hundreds of local clubs for as little as $25. Even major golf retailers such as Golf Galaxy offer an official U.S. Golf Association handicap index. Let your buddies win for a week or two and then shame them into using their winnings – your money – to finally go legitimate. Or, better yet, wait until they get a tax refund or boast about a big bonus and lay it on thick.
 
Alternates - There are a number of free handicap services online. Yahoo! Golf and iGolf.com, both come to mind. Some iPhone apps offer golf handicap estimations. Often these are surprisingly accurate. Or, you can find the formula online and do the calculations yourself. My electrical engineering buddies have created elaborate Microsoft Excel spreadsheets that do their dirty work. Not official, but efficient.
 
Estimate - If a golfer in your group won’t get the proper paperwork, you can always make your best guess. If you’re shooting in the 70s, you’re probably a single digit handicapper. If you’re a bogey golfer who shoots in the low 90s, you’re probably about an 18 index. If you’re more, you’re more. If you’re in between, well you’re somewhere in between. Penalize players with a maximum on estimated strokes allowed. Sure, maybe they’d have 21 strokes coming to them, but limit it to 18 without an index. Tough love, baby. It’s not ideal, but you can make your best guess and probably still have a fair match in most cases. Just don’t try this with tax attorneys. The hours of negotiation and debate aren’t worth it.
 
Variations - Net scores are only one way to compete. If you can’t work out a fair handicap, move on to another alternative where gross scores are the game. Skins, wolf, snake or even a scramble. There are thousands of other silly side games, too numerous to name. Get on the Google.
 
Gambling and bragging rights aside, maintaining an official handicap index is a great way to monitor your progress as a player over time. You often get certain benefits – newsletters or discounts, for example – when you join. And, you’re shut out from many tournaments without an index. Don’t be an outcast.
 
At NiceBallz, we know that not all golf has to involve competition and money. But we believe it’s better when it does. So get a handicap, or go homegrown, and let the games begin.
 
-Corey
 
Corey Grice maintains an active USGA handicap index. He grudgingly pays for the annual renewal fee every January and is glad he did by April when it pays for itself. Follow his golf tips and underhanded advice at http://twitter.com/GolferWriterGuy and at http://blog.niceballz.com.