Mike Whan, the man who elicited a slew of ‘No seriously, who?’ reactions when it was leaked he would be the man, for the women of the LPGA.
For all we know this could be the savior the LPGA needs. It’s silly to be overly optimistic or pessimistic about his chances at this point. But it’s never too early to poke fun.
To that end…we humbly submit:
The Top 5 people/things that have a higher profile than new LPGA Commissioner Mike Whan:
#5 - The Chupacabra
Claim to fame: Sucking goats dry of their blood. Having spooky glowy eyes.
Higher profile than Whan because: Had it’s own special on MonsterQuest.
Years until Whan eclipses its stature: 5, although if Whan can capture a Chupacabra we would knock it down to 2.
#4 – Jimmy Hoffa’s resting place
Claim to fame: Being the quintessential example of what happens when you f*ck with da family!
Higher profile than Whan because: It’s a piece of prime real estate in the Florida wetlands or, where the Jets lease space from the Giants (see above photo).
Years until Whan eclipses its stature: 10, and then only if Whan never returns from a roadside diner meeting with Carolyn Bivens.
# 3 – The non-Justin Timberlake members of N’Sync
Claim to fame: Launching Justin Timberlake’s singing career and future as a golf course savior.
Higher profile than Whan because: Joey Fatone on Broadway and Lance Bass coming out? Case closed.
Years until Whan eclipses their stature: 15, unless Whan releases a solo debut album that brings sexy back to the LPGA. Then, 3 years tops.
#2 – The Unknown Comic
Claim to fame: A Gong Show staple.
Higher profile than Whan because: Um hellooooo the freakin’ Gong Show?
Years until Whan eclipses their stature: 20, unless Whan knows how to tell a joke that doesn’t suck.
#1 – The Colonel’s Secret Recipe of 11 herbs and spices
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Claim to fame: Making fowl taste so…so fine.
Higher profile than Whan because: It’s finger lickin’ good!
Years until Whan eclipses its stature: Never…it’s impossible. And if you don’t believe me…just watch the below clip for confirmation.
Good luck Commissioner Whan!
Hack is a pen name for a marketing and media relations professional who enjoys blogging as a means to pursue his passion for his favorite sport – golf. He represents the yin to his collaborator’s yang. He doesn’t so much play golf, as the game plays him to his delight and likely demise. Follow his perspective on Twitter at @
Cute – oh well – I guess it’s the American way to throw stones before the job starts.
lol – the Unknown Comic – the guy had the stand up comedy world by the short hairs until he just HAD to take the bag off so people could see him…then he wasn’t funny anymore. Not the best career move ever.
I think the French invented it actually re: throwing stones. We’re just trying to perfect it.
Actually Hack, I think that was the Palestinians.
If you have not done it yet, have a Gong Show party. See how creative and how bad your friends are at comedy, singing, acting, talking, dancing, drinking, thinking and stinking…