Earlier we introduced you to the Bullsh!t-o-meter. A highly useful tool in the quest for transparency. The BS-o-meter doesn’t just work on press releases, oh no. It is as proficient with quotes from golf’s stars.
We’ll be putting the BS-o-meter through its final phase of testing over the next few days by force feeding it the overly-polite, highly rehearsed and rarely interesting quotes from the participants and personalities at The 2009 Open at Turnberry.
Here some easily digestable and delictable quotes after Round 1:
“Not bad for an almost 60-year-old,” said Watson, who turns that age in September. “Obviously I enjoyed it.” – Translation: “Suck on that one punks.”
Speaking on Watson – “That was very cool to watch,” Stricker said. “It gives hope to everybody that you can continue to play well in your later years.” – Translation: “He’s clearly on something.”
“I certainly made a few mistakes out there,” Woods said. “Realistically, I probably should have shot about 1- or 2-under par.” – Translation: “I would talk longer, but I have to text Hank Haney that he’s fired.”
Two days after earning a start at the British Open because another player withdrew with an injury, John Senden shot a 4-under 66 Thursday at Turnberry.
“I played solid,” Senden said. “A couple of good saves, and holed a couple of good putts on 13 and 14.” Translation: “I’m going to be so tight tomorrow that if you shoved a lump of coal up my rear you’d have a diamond inside of ten minutes.”
Daly, his career dogged by personal and financial demons, was in need of quick cash when he agreed to a merchandising deal with Loudmouth Golf.
“I didn’t have any deals,” Daly said. The company’s owner, a longtime friend, asked, “Do you want to wear my pants, and I said, ‘Yeah, I’ll wear ‘em.”’ Translation: “Yeah I said I’d wear ‘em for a stake in the company which is now blowin’ up baby! Love ya Woody!”
“I also got up and down when I needed to, so there is certainly something to build on. I wasn?t shooting the lights out but it gives me hope for the next three days,” said Padraig Harrigton. Translation: “Hope, as in I hope I make the cut isn’t that what ya wanna hear Mr. Fookin’ Newspaperman?”
Hack is a pen name for a marketing and media relations professional who enjoys blogging as a means to pursue his passion for his favorite sport – golf. He represents the yin to his collaborator’s yang. He doesn’t so much play golf, as the game plays him to his delight and likely demise. Follow his perspective on Twitter at @
I love the new BS O’Meter. Can it tell if my wife really has a headache?
Okay, okay, my real index is a 6.0, not a 9.0 like I told you on the tee. Geeesh..!!
We promise only to use the powers of the BS-o-meter for good…and if we revealed what your wife really thought well…it would be unusually cruel. To you we mean
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I think you could market this thing. Make it a combo BS O’Meter/Rangefinder that buzzes whenever it hears or sees BS on the course.